Saturday, October 31, 2009

15th- tahlil(2)

Today really sucked.
I was out the whole day and it was boring as fuck.
The whole day i was out for another Tahlil!
This is for real.
To make it even worse... its the same guy from last week.
I thought this was a trick...
but it ain't and i dealt with the boring skit.
We left at 4 plus
and end at 8 at last.
Once we arrived,I really wanted to get back home fast.
But i waited for 2 hours before doing something interesting.
To make it even worse, it was raining.
My clothes were wet and i was drenched.
Couldn't wait in the house cause there were people reading books which i can't even comprehend.
I just wanted my father to send
me home quickly.
Or kill me so i wouldn't have to go through this thing already.
Seriously... it was suicidal.
The long wait was unbearable!
Unendurable.
Intolerable.
Unsurpassable.
Those are the words which best describe the hell that its worth!
Can't believe i spent my holloween this way!
This must be the most wasteful day
ever since i got laid...
The stuff that happened during the hell hours
were too much and it would take a long time describing it to ya.

And happy Halloween to all.
,made a rhyme too, when i was going to fall.

As we moved from door to door with a different look, disguising our identities from characters from different books. Demanding that they took their treats and tid-bits and dish it directly to us for as to treasure it and consume it. Or we would bust their domain and stain it and make them experience the mental pain! We were trained to! You better follow the rules! Or the toilet papers that we use to destroy your shelter will still have poo.

Jerking off at...
10:51 PM

Friday, October 30, 2009

14th- LAst day

Yay!
Today is the last day!
No more school for 2months... but thats ok!:D
Anyway, there wasn't anything interesting.
Had P.E, another briefing... had cleaning and report book giving.
It seemed that in total i failed my Chinese and thought their calculating
was wrong.
Cause i past all of my SA
and failed anyway!
So i looked back and saw that they included CA!
And i was the one wrong and valuables marks were gone
due to my first term when i still had a phone.
Still miss it and i'm really upset.
can't get a new one cause i ain't at express yet.
Drat!
How can that
happen to me.
My position fourth is nothing compared to my marks previously!
Seriously!
What the hell is wrong with me!
Well, i'm still looking forward to the holidays.
Gonna exercise the whole way.
I ain't gonna stay
at an average 50!
I wanna go to a mass between 43
and 45.
And i will rise
as the new champion and i'll be energized!
I'm looking forward to going out with my friends to a movie.
I'm really looking forward to viewing it.
Whatever it is.

Ren Kun you moron!
how could let me leave while the battle was on!
I should have tied myself to your chair till dawn...

ARGHH!

Jerking off at...
6:02 PM

Thursday, October 29, 2009

13th- Today... agian... again... again

Today was kinda long.
Eventhough we left early, there was a sports cap. briefing going on.
I totally forgot about what happened before it went on.
Forgot about what happened in the class but not briefing.
If i recall, it was something about... complaining.
There were some good ones but majority of em' were sucking.
I can't relive what happened in the class before we leave.
Forgot about something.
Maybe there wasn't anything to be remembering.:P
But after all the unmemorable event,
the sports cap briefing was so boring that i wish i had not went.
The things that we were suppose to do was something i can't
do.
Or i'm just too lazy to do.
Thats the most probable reason
why everything said during it was as hard as levitation.
Maybe i'm just lacking determination...
I guess my life is full of little distractions.
I hate it when we have to pay
for something that i don't even want to do anyway.
I feel like i wanna say,
"Fuck off! Do i look like a bank who is gonna do your play."
There is no way
i'm actually liking this.
But its compulsory and cause i'm on the list.
I think i shouldn't have joined, cause the only good part was the feast.
Nah, i'm just kidding with yall.
Its not like i wanna quit cause i ain't having a ball.
There is alot of hard work which need to be put in...
which means that sooner or later imma fall.
But after the discussion.
I wanted to go play soccer with my friends but no one waited for me.
i was companion-less.
I think i have a low stamina.
Cause i had P.E this morning and i wanted to faint. URGHH!
I was seriously out of breath.
I wanted to tear my heart out of my chest.
I just wanted myself to hurt less.
But i just went over my limit, and did my best.
The worst part was, we won nothing and lost to the rest.:(

Jerking off at...
4:30 PM

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

12th- Today..., again... again

I went to the dentist today.
it was okay.
But i had to wait
for a couple of hours and i went home late.
Luckily,
my friends were with me.
Lighten up the mood which was simply
boring. Unfortunately,
I was the last to leave.
Cause i reluctantly let everyone go before me.
One by one my friends left.
Bit by bit it got bored myself...
But Hussain was there...
he begged me to follow him home and gave me that stare.
I decided so,
cause i thought Naufal would come along and took bus 10.
But he didn't, he had a last min. change! That wasn't fair!
Screw that. See if i care.
Me taking bus 10 was rare.
The journey back home was long and tiring.
Did my pre-thought rhymes as i was waiting.
~sigh*
If only i had more interesting things in my life.
If there is, i hope it simply arrives.
Cause dealing with the same crap every day
with a little change
isn't so fitting for a person my age.

Jerking off at...
5:22 PM

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

11th- overalls

Today we got back our overalls.
Wasn't that good at all.
My marks really did fall
from a 73 to a 64.
Ms suhailah, our co form, wanted to see
where we went wrong individually.
She said that i boast too much and i wasn't correct.
What the heck!
First of,
the reason that i lost
the battle was cause
i did not check and it cost
me marks. I did not boast.
ppl think that way cause they post
sentences about me being competent enough to go express.
This really helped me less.
I gotta confess.
Apart of me didn't want to go express.
That COULD be the reason why i joined the rest
in normal aced. with these percentage that weren't even my best.
After that, we had a quiz on geog.
About landmarks, places and all kinds of questions which i answered all wrong.
How was i suppose to noe the capital of Thailand was Bangkok?
After the quiz,
we went to the hall for a briefing
about a mass CIP thing.
I so cared very little about helping.
Rather only wanting to get hours so that i have a good chance at Acing
for the future.
I am still not sure
about what we were suppose to do.
All i noe is that we have a carnival which was sorta 'new'.

Jerking off at...
3:22 PM

Monday, October 26, 2009

10th- nothing to do

I've got nothing to say today cause all i did was play dota, watched a bit of youtube.
That is as far
as i went.
So little things that i was filled with lament.
My day can't
get anymore exciting then
what it already is.
please...
SOMEBODY GIMME SOMETHING TO DO!
before i start acting COO-COO!

Jerking off at...
6:28 PM

Sunday, October 25, 2009

9th- tahlil and weddings

Today I was out the whole day.
Not with my friends but with family.
First we went to the mosque and prayed
and then there was a baby
which we were suppose to pray
for.
Why was he so special that he needed more
blessings from us?
Thus,
we had to sit there supplicating
for him to have a good future or something.
Anywho, it was superbly boring
and i was just sitting
there minding
my own business and just wording
out the supplications which i don't
even know the meaning.
But inside my head i was thinking
about music and at the same time rhyming.
Afterwards there was a buffet for all of us.
didn't want to eat it cause it was fattening.
Plus,
after that we had to go for a wedding.
and if i am not eating
my parents will be scolding me
for not respecting
them. The wedding was such a drag.
They played lousy music which was old.
Just like all the other old hags
that were there.
I'm not trying to insult them.
But there was no fan
so all the oldies were complaining to us.
WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEM!
But we were kind enough to agree
with the complainees
and back bite on how there was no fanning.
Then we went to ANOTHER wedding.
I saw my friend Ali
from my old school. But i think he didn't see me.
But i did and all i did
there was drink and sit
there without a care
in the world.
I didn't care about respect
cause i was fool of mess
from the food that i ate
from the previous plate
from the previous wedding cake.
After the second,
we went to my grand uncle's house with a present
cause my grand unc. died the other day.
So what we were having was a tahlil.
I don't even know what that means.
yet i was reading the wordings.
It was hard to keep up with all the adults
which was why i had to be rushing.
What made it even worse...
after the tahlil, 95% of the men were smoking!
it was hard for me to breathe.
Its as if
I was being poisoned and i wouldn't live.
I wanted to leave...
but it was a contribution to a dead's person's believes!
Not the smoking but the supplicating.
There was no goods that i could receive!
But i'm glad that its finally over.
Won't have to deal with another
case where i have to suffer
from boredom.

Jerking off at...
6:50 PM

Saturday, October 24, 2009

7th- My apologies

i sincerely apologize
for whatever i did
to bring that resentment in your eyes.
Just know it was not an intentional try.
i know you won't cry
but the hate is painful
and i would die
inside
if i knew it.
Just know that i regret it
even a little bit.

But all i want is your forgiveness
so that we can carry on with our lives
and you won't think of me as worthless
and i
won't have to live in darkness
It happened once
and it may happen again.
Though you better know the truth
before you treat me with disdain.
If it was done to upset you
then the intentions weren't true.
Regardless of whatever you
think of me,
just make sure you still do
treat me
as a friend
and
not an enemy.
Hope you're paying attention and listening
to my apology.
Hope inside you
you're forgiving
me.

Seriously.
This might not be a big issue
to you.
But the way you treat me isn't so cool
when you talk about me and make me look like a fool.
It hurts inside and it will bleed until you
are nice again. i am not a tool
which you
can dispose of and get another two.

~sigh*

Jerking off at...
3:09 PM

Friday, October 23, 2009

6th- Today

Today we built a sand castle.
Never thought that i would be able
to make it stable.
It was some hard shit to build
even a little bit would still
be troublesome to do.
The structure of it was so difficult
that i only understood a few.
Even though we won first
the quench for thirst
was all i wanted
and i didn't think we could have lasted.
But we did.
We won a prize even though we did a little bit.
After the tough torture took a flight.
I guess my friends were right
when they said that i couldn't make it
to the mosque. But at least i prayed a bit
and gained some light.
Isn't that still somethin?
Any who, after prayer
it got badder
as i had to go back to school later
as i had to attend ncc and was troublesome as ever.
But i did attend
in the end
as i didn't want to be a leave-er
Despite my intentions
the ncc wasn't that bad
but we did talk something abt porn and masturbation...:P
some of the responses were pitiful and bad.
This cca has let to more exhaustion to add.
Even though it was fun
I can't
really go through a Tuesday without being so bummed
out.
My friend wasn't there
so he was missing out
on all the fun
even when we were done.
Got back home
but i wasn't alone
my lil bro was there
and my sis wasn't at home nor on the phone.
Why am i telling you this useless info.
for?
I guess i kinda do suck to the core
even when i open the door
to life.
~sigh*

Jerking off at...
6:00 PM

Thursday, October 22, 2009

5th- Acceptance

Got my four other papers
back. Still think that i could have done better.
Wanted to blame the teacher
but realized that there was no pint putting the fault on her.
I did the paper
carelessly
... should have checked and not draw intentionally.
I guess it was due to my complacency
that every
question was done carelessly
therefore i did not see
the errors which occured.
This has set me to regrettin
the answers which i put in.
I guess it was destined
that i am leavin
with marks which i am still hatin.
Mother tongue and English wasn't so bad.
My science was kinda cool but i'm still a little sad
But this isn't the last.
As they will be counting the papers from the past.
Just hope i did well enough for my previous tests.

So this is what i got
Imma ought
to tell you my grades aren't so odd.
Put in a little thought
that i should not forgot
about the mistakes made
and not repeat them in the future ahead.

Jerking off at...
6:56 PM

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

4th- My current papers

I just got back my paper.
If i was not such a slacker
i think i could have done better.
My results were okay...
that's all i can say.
My average 60 some how always stays.
I ought to pay more attention to what my teacher say.
Maybe i should have prayed
for a better grade.
Dang my geography
and maybe a little of history.
Why is geog so difficult for me?
Why can't my home econs. teacher see
that i just wanna be a 70
average
and i will drink all the healthy beverage.
I'm so filled with rage
as i flip every page
... how will i go to express in this current stage
... its kinda hard even for my age.
I really want a higher percentage.
i just got back my history,
geography,
home econs. and literature.
I am sure that i will regret my mistakes in the future
especially for literature.
All of em are above 60
but below 70.
I hope with my last four papers i'll get a distinction
and everyone will be screaming "CONGRATULATIONS!"
the Chinese examination
is really the hard question
- will i pass or end up in devastation?
It might pull down my grades
and soon my rendezvous with the express will fade.
i guess i will let fate
decide whether or not i'm too late.

Jerking off at...
7:10 PM

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

3rd- Post exam activities...

Today was sorta fun
though we had to physically run
in the blazing sun
and some of the activities we can't do.
No point complaining,
not like we can undo.
But imma do it anyway
and gonna say what happened today
from my perspective.
I believe that if i had been more active
i wouldn't feel like wantin to leave
all the time.
the heat from the ground was burning my behind.
It was soo hot...
the girls and the sun.
It really hurt a lot...
didn't noe when it was gonna be done.
There were soo many activities... yet so little time.
It felt like an eternity... can't believe i'm still alive.
Couldn't do everything,
kinda disappointing.

There was one activity held in the field.
i still can't believe
that it was real.
We were suppose to feel
and fill a cup with
white
wasted
water.
Had to bring it from one end to the other.
The smell was as well horrible
which made it even more terrible.
Would you believe if i told you that it was drinkable?

Then at the end we got back with our friends
as we were separated from the start until the end.
As we were called to go to the hall for some briefing
about some sand castle making
... seems kinda boring,
doesn't seem interesting
and it is almost impossible for us to be doing that,
The examples of what we were suppose to build were big and fat.
So realistic,
can't believe that it was a fact.
How can you make a thing like that erect?

Jerking off at...
3:13 PM

Sunday, October 18, 2009

2nd- Friends

I got a rhyme this time.
wanna share whats on my mind...

When you think it is the end,
just noe that there are people caring for you,
they are your friends.
They stick by you,
making sure you're not blue,
always cheering for you
and they will speak of the truth.
They will always be helping you
too.
There are a few people with these qualities
and will always stand by you.
Don't give a fuck if their popular.
will they be beside you at the brink of disaster?
you'll be realizing that sooner or later.
Friends are great.
To you they will never hate.
To have one is never too late.
Around them, you will never be alone.
Sometimes they can take you home.
They will listen to your complaints and your moans.. They will cheer you up, always say whats up.

Treat your friends well and they will treat you greatly as well. Be together even in the times of hell.

Jerking off at...
4:58 PM

1st- Thank you ashley

Finally have a blog... thks to Ashley. :D

Thank you very much. I am really touched... seriously, i can't thank you enough. it must've been rough... helping me was tough. but you made it through, i guess that are what true friends do... thank you.:)

Jerking off at...
4:49 PM